You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.