did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
