i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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