there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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