The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
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From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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