She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
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so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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