This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
