he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
