I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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