So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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