TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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