member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
