i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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