i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize