I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize