hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize