fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im six kinds of drunk right now
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
