guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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