I can't watch pbs sober anymore
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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