i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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