And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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