careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
