Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i've created a new STD.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
