Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
