I bet he comes in French.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize