you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
