He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
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Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
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The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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