I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
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i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house