Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...