Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more