So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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