I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
