I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
