I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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