Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks