return my video game
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.