I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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