i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.