you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
