it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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