So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
