I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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