They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Couch. On fire.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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