he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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