Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
