Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
