and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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