**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.