I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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