I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
