I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
