Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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