There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room