Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...