I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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